So, I have a small problem.

[Don Julio]

Many years ago, I was in a very serious relationship. I was about 17-19 during the course of the relationship. My ex ended up falling for a mutual friend, and I told her many times that even though we are not together that I will always care about her.

She and I talk and have a good relationship now. She moved out of town and has two kids with two different guys, both of whom I do not know.

So, all is good, but it's not.

I trusted her completely. I told her almost everything that was personal and meaningful to me. She betrayed that trust. That was seven years ago.

Since then, I have had major trust issues with people.

So I met a new girl in Spanish class, six months ago. I decided after all these years of not trusting people, that I would give her a chance. I told her, after being friends with her for a few months, that I had feelings for her.

She didn't react much. In fact, my telling her seemed to not affect our friendship, That was up until last week.

She knew I was renting a boat for a group of friends to go out to the lake for am evening. Knowing how I feel about her, she asked me if she could bring a guy that she likes along for the ride. It didn't bother me that she likes someone else, but it bothered me that she would want to bring him along, at my expense.

I told her no. She even apologized for asking and for being inconsiderate. However, I once again feel somewhat betrayed. And, it's only significant because this was the first major time that I have tried to open up and be completely honest since my last significant relationship seven years ago.

So, I just get the feeling that whenever I try to be the good honest guy, I am going to get severely burned. At least that is what my experience has shown me to be true.

Somewhat jaded, but not invested enough to be heartbroken.

Julio :(

[sinematic]

man I been there before

maybe not same situations but when I was 18 my girlfriend from 15 years old in the 9th grade up to 12th grade at 18 left me for NO reason, I ran away from home and tried to get away from it all, after I put that situation behind me, it took me 2 years before I started opening up again, and got burned by another girl who was just a flat out liar

all I can say is dont give up, I know that most girls I attracted back then were genuine and sweet people, but you just need somebody on your level. For awhile I thought like you said being the honest "good guy" is just not what these girls want. But, there is one out there for you with similar interest that you will be able to trust, just take it from me, be patient and hang in there, DO NOT settle for whatever comes your way thinking you'll never find the right woman. Dont think you're asking for too much out of a woman. If you do, you'll end up marrying somebody that your'e not comfortable with, and somebody you cant trust, then you'll end up lonely all over again back to square one. I would just be extra cautious even more than what you were last time, try to keep them feelings at bay if they do start to grow, and really get to know a woman first. You already doing the right thing by being her friend first, but she might've thought yall were just gonna be cool forever. You can tell when a girl is feeling you somewhat even tho she's not making passes at you, but just make sure once you find that friend, you establish your trust issues with her at some point and then the feelings afterwards. Then she'll know that you've been hurt, and once you voice your feelings for her she'll be even more sympathetic towards the situation. Im not saying be a cry baby and a sensitive punk, but keep it real early on, as far as whats happened to you in the past when it came to trusting people. But, release those feelings later, cause if you say something too early it might scare the chick off, and she'd might even question your intentions in the friendship in the first place. But, like I said dont give up. Some people say "Well marriage is wack" or "marriage is overrated." But, thats only because they've been hurt or fed up from past relationships. Never let one, two, or three, (you see where Im going wit this), women stop you from finding the one thats right for you. Just be patient, it's better to find her late than never, remember dat. And, remember never settle and you'll be aight playa.

I hope I helped you a lil bit just from my overstanding, but I aint no doctor or nothing, just thought I'd try to help from my viewpiont thats all...

Be Strong Homey

[Don Julio]

thanx sine

[beck]

just be friends with her,,,,stay in here presence.....not on a se7en type of stalkerish shit......but get to know her....and if she doesnt like you....it aint for you

[wedo-syang]

MAn eventhough i don't like you and i think you're the biggest pussy on the planet I try to help you....

Never let a girl know your true feelings, Even if you think you're going to die without her, Don't tell her and don't show her....If a Bitch is too sure about you wanting her she'll loose interest.......Don't ask me why it's just like that.

Well, at least with younger women, i don't know how old you are and how old the girls are you try to date, if you stated that it would be a lot easier because womens mind change

[Don Julio]

I am 23 and the girls that I talk to are the same age, thanks for the info though Wedo...

[wedo-syang]

well at 23 they should be actually more mature....i thougt you're like 18 or something like that..............

Anyway, Sin posted some good stuff take that to heart and remember that it's not all about love ok? If you have to wait some time to get a good girl be patient, do your thing, get money take care of business you know one day you'll find the right one just as sin did.

Don't act desperate....that's a turn off for every girl...

And until then you can still go to some hookers you know..... LMAO

That's what they're here for...

Hope i could help you there lil homey......

[MackDaddySoprano]

never tell a girl how u feel, u will get burned each time, now i'm not sayin' to not holla at a girl you like and let her know u tryin' take her out, but don't open up off some "I really like u" type shit,

now if you been friends with a chic for a while don't tell her u like her, cause her ass will stop talkin' to you and began actin' funny, just let nature take its course and if ya'll end up together, than that's what happened, don't force shit

never put your full trust in women or people at that, if shawty don't return your phone calls, or the feelin' ain't mutual, keep it movin no matter how bad u like her or how bad it hurts, keep it movin' and get some new pussy!

[Don Julio]

thanx mds... you make it sound so simple...

[Sicktress]

Form a girl's point of you that was really inconsiderate of her to ask to bring someone she liked to YOUR boat that YOU rented as if you would've just gotten over her after you told her your feelings.. maybe you fall for the wrong type of girl. I don't think I'm all holy and good but that was bad judgement on her part.

I totally don't buy into the 'dont let the girl know how you feel thing' unless it's way too early. If you've known the person for 3 years and felt the same way, sure, go ahead and say something, who knows, they might feel the same. But a few months? Too soon. You have to feel out for people's intentions and characters before you let them know personal things about you, no matter how 'cool' they seem. People react differently to different situations. For example, she might be cool for going to the movies and chilling, but people have two faces and I totally understand your not trusting people.

Take a step back, evaluate the friendships you make and how you go about them before even going through the trust issue. It's easy to trust people with trivial things, but with your heart, you HAVE to be careful no matter what, it is not weird at all what you do..

[LIFTED]

as much as i wish u died a slow death with marshall mathers n kobe bryant at the same time, u'll appreciate what those girls put u thru when u find the right one.

[Luse_Fiasco]

i dont kno wat im going thru with this girl right now...but we know we like eachother but its not like we say it to eachother all the time n obsess about it....we keep things cool...

ive known her for a couple months...we have done a lot together...like being intimate..n emotional..sorta and now we are in two different regions of the state...which is i think helpful bcuz distance creates this "need" for eachother..n she tells me all the time that she misses me or she wants to talk to me n wen we do talk..its like i get to know so much about her..

make her smile..laugh...grab her attention...all these things...make things soo much better btwn two people...

so like these dudes said...before you really go head first...make sure u kno the person n make sure yall are both on the same level...


p.s..im just waitin to see how going to the beach for two nights is going to be with this chick...hm...

[AL-JABR]

Many years ago, I was in a very serious relationship. I was about 17-19 during the course of the relationship. My ex ended up falling for a mutual friend, and I told her many times that even though we are not together that I will always care about her.

She and I talk and have a good relationship now. She moved out of town and has two kids with two different guys, both of whom I do not know.

So, all is good, but it's not.

I trusted her completely. I told her almost everything that was personal and meaningful to me. She betrayed that trust. That was seven years ago.

Since then, I have had major trust issues with people.

So I met a new girl in Spanish class, six months ago. I decided after all these years of not trusting people, that I would give her a chance. I told her, after being friends with her for a few months, that I had feelings for her.

She didn't react much. In fact, my telling her seemed to not affect our friendship, That was up until last week.

She knew I was renting a boat for a group of friends to go out to the lake for am evening. Knowing how I feel about her, she asked me if she could bring a guy that she likes along for the ride. It didn't bother me that she likes someone else, but it bothered me that she would want to bring him along, at my expense.

I told her no. She even apologized for asking and for being inconsiderate. However, I once again feel somewhat betrayed. And, it's only significant because this was the first major time that I have tried to open up and be completely honest since my last significant relationship seven years ago.

So, I just get the feeling that whenever I try to be the good honest guy, I am going to get severely burned. At least that is what my experience has shown me to be true.

Somewhat jaded, but not invested enough to be heartbroken.

Julio :(


I UNDERSTAND COPLETELY WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. TO BE HONEST I'VE HAVEN'T HAD THAT MANY ISSUES WHERE THE WOMEN CHEATED. I'VE JUST HAD ISSUES WERE BURNED FINACALLY, SET UP, AND JUST WASTED MY TIME. BUT THE THING THAT MAKES ME NOT TRUST THE MOST IS NOT THE THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED TO ME. IT'S THE THINGS THAT I SEE HAPPEN TO OTHER PEOPLE ALL THE TIME. ALSO THE FACT THAT SEVERAL TIMES IN MY LIFE I SOME HOW ENDED UP IN BED WITH SOMEONE ELSE GIRL. I WONDER TO MYSELF IF THE SAME IS BEING DONE TO ME. SHIT LIKE THAT JUST MAKES ME WONDER.

[AL-JABR]

YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS....YOUR TRYING TO RUSH THE RELATIONSHIP. YOUR ARE 23 YEARS OLD. YOUR STILL YOUNG MAN DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT SHIT JUST HAVE FUN. IF SHE IS RIGHT FOR YOU THAN YOU WILL BOND WITHOUT TRYING. ALL THAT PRESSURE AND OBLIGATION TO BE WITH HER IS JUST STRESSING YOU OUT. LIVE LIFE AND TALK TO OTHER FEMALES. TRUST ME THEIR IS NO REASON TO RUSH INTO A RELATIONSHIP. YOU NEED MORE PRACTICE DEALING WITH WOMEN ANYWAY I MEAN 8 YEARS IS A LONG TIME. ONCE YOU ARE IN THAT COMMITMENT YOU ARE LOCKED IN FOR A LONG TIME SO ENJOY YOUR FREEDOM. JUST REMEMBER FACT THAT THE ONE YOU CHOOSE COULD BE THE ONE YOU ARE STUCK WITH FOR LIFE.

[Dr. ibarfly Jones]

Virtual Flower replies....

I don't mean to sound rude, but most of us have been burned like this. One day a woman is going to come into your life and she'll be a friend and more. I'd ask you not to bring your baggage along. I know it's hard, but not everyone will want to break your heart. If you shutdown and/or don't give other women a chance to really get to know you better (because two other girls were inconsiderate, etc.), you'll never find happiness...

[LIFTED]

i dont kno wat im going thru with this girl right now...but we know we like eachother but its not like we say it to eachother all the time n obsess about it....we keep things cool...

ive known her for a couple months...we have done a lot together...like being intimate..n emotional..sorta and now we are in two different regions of the state...which is i think helpful bcuz distance creates this "need" for eachother..n she tells me all the time that she misses me or she wants to talk to me n wen we do talk..its like i get to know so much about her..

make her smile..laugh...grab her attention...all these things...make things soo much better btwn two people...

so like these dudes said...before you really go head first...make sure u kno the person n make sure yall are both on the same level...


p.s..im just waitin to see how going to the beach for two nights is going to be with this chick...hm...
first n foremost, wear a condom if anything goes down.

secondly, congrats man. i wish u 2 the best.

[Luse_Fiasco]

thanx man...

i watch each n every step i make with this girl cuz i dont wanna fuck anyting up....

[Ceasar]

as much as i wish u died a slow death with marshall mathers n kobe bryant at the same time, u'll appreciate what those girls put u thru when u find the right one.

Its a curse upon thyself to wish somebody death loool

anyway very good advice here

Its all about taking ya time

one off my problems is i rush to fast and open up to these broads
This year its different

@ Rahl

Ayo i turned 24 its my last year IMO to go out and party and bullshit but i aint just gonna focus on broads, imma do stuff I never got to do and learn more about myself

[SaTeld]

i have such a problem with snorting coke. every time i snort coke, ice cubes get stuck in my nose.

what ami doing wrong??