is my girl cheating on me?

[BigScoff]

we have been dating for a year now.

when we first got together we were fuckin like every day

then we moved in together after about 6 months and it was like every other day or once every 3 days

now its down to like once a week or once every week and a half

i can't take this shit anymore. sometimes i wonder if shes cheating on me. i ask her what the deal is and she says that shes just tired and doesnt really have much of a sex drive, and she says it started somewhat after she had kids.(she has 2)

what u guys think?

[ILLPHOENIX7]

not sure if she is cheating on you or not but i can tell you that a lack of sex is female language for...you are not doing something that she wants you to do...all women know the power of their pussy...they know that for men it is a huge ego blow if they just stop wanting sex...women always try that lack of sex drive trick...that shit is old and played out...i tell you what...if you want to remedy the situation...you have to make her powerless...she will not use that tool against you if she knows that she can't hurt you with it...

so i suggest that you just stop asking for it...it is going to be hard...but just stop...act real uninterested in it...make sure you stock up on porn before you try this...eventually she will start thinking there is something wrong with her...she will then start trying to initiate sex with you...tell her you are not in the mood...or that your sex drive is fucked up...it will crush her...when you finally do let her have it again...don't fall back into that trap....as soon as you give up power it is over...and right back to no ass...lol

i been married for 5 years...trust me

[BigScoff]

not sure if she is cheating on you or not but i can tell you that a lack of sex is female language for...you are not doing something that she wants you to do...all women know the power of their pussy...they know that for men it is a huge ego blow if they just stop wanting sex...women always try that lack of sex drive trick...that shit is old and played out...i tell you what...if you want to remedy the situation...you have to make her powerless...she will not use that tool against you if she knows that she can't hurt you with it...

so i suggest that you just stop asking for it...it is going to be hard...but just stop...act real uninterested in it...make sure you stock up on porn before you try this...eventually she will start thinking there is something wrong with her...she will then start trying to initiate sex with you...tell her you are not in the mood...or that your sex drive is fucked up...it will crush her...when you finally do let her have it again...don't fall back into that trap....as soon as you give up power it is over...and right back to no ass...lol

i been married for 5 years...trust me

lol i have somewhat already tried that, but i may have to do it again

i was on some medication for a while and one of the side effects was that it took away my sex drive, and i thought to myself "wow...now i can show her what it feels like" but she never gave in and never brought it up... like it didnt bother her at all

but i think i will try it again

and as for you saying that i'm not doing something that she wants me to do... i ask her all the time if theres anything i do or dont do that bothers her cuz i try to keep communication good, and she knows she aint gonna hurt my feelings. but she says everythings good

im like wtf

[ILLPHOENIX7]

you have to understand that women communicate with you all the time...most times its not verbally...you have to be able to read through what she is acting like...i also feel that if you are constantly trying and she is unwilling to put forth an effort...maybe you should contemplate taking a little vacation...absence makes the heart grow fond...also know that...if a person is not feeling you...you can't make them...so ask...if she gives you the same bullshit...tell her that you want to do you for a while...see what she says...if she is like cool....she is probably cheating...if she is against it...she could still be cheating but at least you know she cares

btw...what ssri were you taking...you can hit me in the pm for that one

[BigScoff]

you have to understand that women communicate with you all the time...most times its not verbally...you have to be able to read through what she is acting like...i also feel that if you are constantly trying and she is unwilling to put forth an effort...maybe you should contemplate taking a little vacation...absence makes the heart grow fond...also know that...if a person is not feeling you...you can't make them...so ask...if she gives you the same bullshit...tell her that you want to do you for a while...see what she says...if she is like cool....she is probably cheating...if she is against it...she could still be cheating but at least you know she cares

btw...what ssri were you taking...you can hit me in the pm for that one

i know im horrible at the whole nonverbal communication thing. shes constantly tellin me im bad at pickin up hints lol.

i might try that takin a break thing. i know im insecure a lot so that may have something to do with it as well

[ILLPHOENIX7]

im sure that has alot to do with it...dont worry at least you are aware of it...women respond better to confidence...if your girl thinks that you need her for her happiness it gives her so much power to exploit you...even though you are in a relationship...remember this...women will always run game...it is in their nature...you always have to be on point...or else....you will get hurt bad...

[BigScoff]

im sure that has alot to do with it...dont worry at least you are aware of it...women respond better to confidence...if your girl thinks that you need her for her happiness it gives her so much power to exploit you...even though you are in a relationship...remember this...women will always run game...it is in their nature...you always have to be on point...or else....you will get hurt bad...

lol i guess i'm just kinda naiive

i treat women with tons of respect and i try to be the nicest guy in the world, so when they don't try to make me happy, its like a slap in the face. it just really pisses me off

so i suppose i should just worry about ME a little more

[ILLPHOENIX7]

that is the best thing you can do...im telling you this from my own personal experience...when you treat another person better than you treat yourself...you are only going to be disappointed with the results

[ElCount]

lol...Nice Guys Never Win Fam!!!!

Anyways good luck, IllPhoenix is on point relationships are just a power struggle...

Don't treat her like shit but let her realize your not dependent on her for your happiness cause to women that just shows weakness and insecurities. Women always want something better and something better is always something women can't have. It's some bullshit...

To end this off, men are always more true and sincere than women. Look at you being all honest and she's acting like a naive little bitch.

God and Satan both hate women, doesn't that tell you something?

She's obviously not going to talk to you, so straight up stop talking to her. Keep doing those little things to show that you care about her, go buy her a hoodie or some shit, give it to her and don't say a word, do the dishes or some shit...Actually what IllPhoenix said about taking a vacation is on point I would definately recommend doing that.

[BigScoff]

lol...Nice Guys Never Win Fam!!!!

Anyways good luck, IllPhoenix is on point relationships are just a power struggle...

Don't treat her like shit but let her realize your not dependent on her for your happiness cause to women that just shows weakness and insecurities. Women always want something better and something better is always something women can't have. It's some bullshit...

To end this off, men are always more true and sincere than women. Look at you being all honest and she's acting like a naive little bitch.

God and Satan both hate women, doesn't that tell you something?

She's obviously not going to talk to you, so straight up stop talking to her. Keep doing those little things to show that you care about her, go buy her a hoodie or some shit, give it to her and don't say a word, do the dishes or some shit...Actually what IllPhoenix said about taking a vacation is on point I would definately recommend doing that.

lol thanks for the advice...im so inexperienced when it comes to relationships. i mean i gave up so much to even be with a girl that has children. honestly how many guys are gonna help raise some other dudes kids...and i get treated like crap

its just crazy man

i suppose i better grow some balls quick lol

[ElCount]

Yeah that's nuts how you fell for a chick with 2 kids...I still give you props though cause I don't think I could do that though I love kids...But in alot of instances the man falls for the kids after shit with the gurl stops working out lol...

What's the situation with the baby daddy?

And on the real she should be more appreciative cuz not many men would actually be in a relationship with a chick with kids, most men just wanna come smash and avoid the burdens and drama...

[BigScoff]

Yeah that's nuts how you fell for a chick with 2 kids...I still give you props though cause I don't think I could do that though I love kids...But in alot of instances the man falls for the kids after shit with the gurl stops working out lol...

What's the situation with the baby daddy?

And on the real she should be more appreciative cuz not many men would actually be in a relationship with a chick with kids, most men just wanna come smash and avoid the burdens and drama...

thats what im saying. i mean shit i even walk to work so she can use my car to get to work cuz i dont want her walkin at 6 in the morning.

anyway the daddy is in jail for 8 years. fuckin nut apparently. i suppose he will either try to beat my ass or kill me when he gets out but im not really worried about that. im sure i can handle him

[ILLPHOENIX7]

i understand you perfectly...you treat women how you would like to be treated back...this is always a problem and you will always lose...she sounds like she has issues with trust and instead of treating you like the hero that you are...she keeps herself guarded...this is unfair to you and her...she is not trusting and looking at all your flaws...but while doing that...she is leaving herself open to be judged...

what do you think her worst fear is?...it is to be alone...i guarantee if you said...you know what...this ain't working...im out...she would do anything to keep you...but remember...you can't make someone love you...you also can't control other actions...your best bet is to find out what makes you happy...she obviously isn't

[BigScoff]

i understand you perfectly...you treat women how you would like to be treated back...this is always a problem and you will always lose...she sounds like she has issues with trust and instead of treating you like the hero that you are...she keeps herself guarded...this is unfair to you and her...she is not trusting and looking at all your flaws...but while doing that...she is leaving herself open to be judged...

what do you think her worst fear is?...it is to be alone...i guarantee if you said...you know what...this ain't working...im out...she would do anything to keep you...but remember...you can't make someone love you...you also can't control other actions...your best bet is to find out what makes you happy...she obviously isn't

thanks for the advice man

you gave some deep insight and i really appreciate it

[T-rade]

Ask her, real cold and cynical over dinner or something, "are you cheating?" unless she is crazy self conscience, you can tell if she's lying or not.

Lying: People get defensive, speak faster and more detailed and ofcourse they don't keep as much eyecontact and touch their neck or hair (these last two are easy to avoid, but the detail level is very unconscious thing you do when ask about lying)

Truth: opposite of above of course

[Luse_Fiasco]

BigScoff, cut that bitch out, man up and watch some porn

[Ayo]

BigScoff, cut that bitch out, man up and watch some porn

and if u feel like cuddling after you're done, buy a teddy bear

[BigScoff]

and if u feel like cuddling after you're done, buy a teddy bear

lmao

[Bossanova]

That's not a good enough reason to believe that she's cheating on you, imo. If this is all that you're going by then you might be jumping the gun here.

When a relationship is new, and a woman is gah gah over a guy, she's going to want it almost all the time. Those urges subside over time in any relationship, unless she's just a very sexual type of person. That doesn't mean that it will always be that way. Sometimes I don't have the urge for weeks (especially if I'm stressed or really busy), other times I want it every day. She may come back around eventually, just give it time and keep those lines of communication open.

Another thing to keep in mind is that sex can get kind of boring (for women, at least) if it's repetitive and we're not getting much enjoyment out of it. Generally, men will get what they want out of it almost every time. That's not the same for us. I'm not saying that that's the case here, but since I'm only getting one side of the story I can only speculate as to what else may be going on. Try something new with her. Ask her what she wants.

[ElCount]

LMAO Give her a portuguese breakfast!!!

Bossa are you in the mood?

[Ayo]

thats why i only date nymphos and strippers

[BigScoff]

thats why i only date nymphos and strippers

hahaha i coulda used that advice bout a year ago

[ElCount]

^^^ One look at your sig and that lets you know all you need to know about life...

[Luse_Fiasco]

i value free pussy like no other

[Ayo]

^^^ i prefer dropping franklins on strippers

[ST1llmatic]

scoff aint you a youngster. like 19 or something? if youre gunna move out why with a chick? you could do it on your own or move in with one of your boys and bang all sorts of pussy. i may be wrong but all you are worried about is her not giving you the pussy. if youre single you could hit no strings attached and not be taken advantage of. if you are going to have a chick why one with two kids. you are too young for this shit dog. i hope at least you arent helping her support these kids. all i can tell you is who gives a fuck if she is cheating on you or not. if your needs arent being met and you cant trust her you dont belong with her period

[BigScoff]

scoff aint you a youngster. like 19 or something? if youre gunna move out why with a chick? you could do it on your own or move in with one of your boys and bang all sorts of pussy. i may be wrong but all you are worried about is her not giving you the pussy. if youre single you could hit no strings attached and not be taken advantage of. if you are going to have a chick why one with two kids. you are too young for this shit dog. i hope at least you arent helping her support these kids. all i can tell you is who gives a fuck if she is cheating on you or not. if your needs arent being met and you cant trust her you dont belong with her period

yeah, im 20. idk i just found a girl that i really liked. i dont really find too many girls that i actually like them and that are hot. so i fell for her even though i knew that it would be hard with her havin kids and all.

idk i've never been the type of guy to use girls just for sex. maybe i should be and i wouldnt be in this situation. but i definitely feel like my needs aren't being met and it really bothers me

[ElCount]

Don't let the manwhores bring ya down Scoff!!!

PREACH!!!! (Pussy Rules Everything Around Cockamamie Hoes!!!!)

[ST1llmatic]

dump that chick. youre 20. you dont know what you want. chicks your age dont know what they want. older chicks just want sex from young bucks. ever heard of a cougar? im only 24 im in the same boat. get your career poppin, get settled down for your damn self not for a woman. if chicks are consenting to sex why would you be upset about it they arent. im not even trying to diss but if your girl had two chicks i could imagine the loose skin and stretch marks. there are exceptions to the rule but i doubt she could be that hot. plus there's nothing hot about a chick with two kids from another person when you take the baggage into account

[ElCount]

LOL at these urbandictionary definitions...They always kill me...

An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf. Cougars are gaining in popularity -- particularly the true hotties -- as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together.

That cougar I met last night, showed me shit I didn't know existed, I'm goin back for more.

---------------------

(see also hunt, prowl, corner, pounce). Noun. A 35+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Francisco (or other cities)waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path. "Man is cougar's number one prey"

Millions of them. More famously, Demi and Ashton, Naomi Watts and Heath Ledger, Joan Collins and her hubby, Cameron and Justin, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins

[BigScoff]

LOL at these urbandictionary definitions...They always kill me...

An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf. Cougars are gaining in popularity -- particularly the true hotties -- as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together.

That cougar I met last night, showed me shit I didn't know existed, I'm goin back for more.

---------------------

(see also hunt, prowl, corner, pounce). Noun. A 35+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Francisco (or other cities)waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path. "Man is cougar's number one prey"

Millions of them. More famously, Demi and Ashton, Naomi Watts and Heath Ledger, Joan Collins and her hubby, Cameron and Justin, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins

hahahaha i love it

stillmatic im definitely takin your advice into account. sometimes i just feel like i have too much of a conscience to do what your suggesting

[KQ2]

dump that chick. youre 20. you dont know what you want. chicks your age dont know what they want. older chicks just want sex from young bucks. ever heard of a cougar? im only 24 im in the same boat. get your career poppin, get settled down for your damn self not for a woman. if chicks are consenting to sex why would you be upset about it they arent. im not even trying to diss but if your girl had two chicks i could imagine the loose skin and stretch marks. there are exceptions to the rule but i doubt she could be that hot. plus there's nothing hot about a chick with two kids from another person when you take the baggage into account


Listen to the man, he speaks the truth!

CHHUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHH ! ! ! !

::banana_dance2::

[ST1llmatic]

scoff you are young and have prolly been conditioned to treat women a certain way. no i understand not beating women and treating a girl you want to wife up with respect. that being said, you have no reason to be looking for wifey for like another 10 years. get your life straight, grow up and mature a bit (your 20 when you look back 10 years from now you'll have certain characteristics now that in hindsight you will be like damn what the fuck was i thinking, i was young. i feel like that and im only going on 25). for now have fun. like i said if it is consentual you aint damaging nobody or disrespecting n e body. be straight out with a chick like you arent looking for n e thing serious you just want to have fun and smash. if she's cool with it then their is no disrespect. if it turns to something more serious afterwards thats also cool. till then try out different chicks rather than sticking to one. if they aint feeling it there are plenty more fish in the sea.

[Summertime ONE]

you treat women how you would like to be treated back...this is always a problem and you will always lose

Whoa at all these replies..."power struggle"....etc....

I think either 1) her sexual apetite might not be as big as yours. men generally wants sex more often than women. plus in the beginning of relationships it is common to have sex every day, and with months and years that tend to become a little less freaquent. So if your confident that she loves you, there actually might not be any other reason for her not wanting to have sex every day. 2) She might be a sneaky bitch and being unfaithful

But i think #1 is not too uncommon

First 3 months you are getting it on like rabbits 5 times every day sometimes but when you've been together for years, in the long run sex would become boring if you had it every day.....


I've been with my man for more than 4 years now, we celebrated our first wedding anniversary earlier this month. Nothing changed after we got married. When we go to the movies or be out, we actually hear people still whispering "oh look at that cute newly in love couple" lol. Just make sure you keep the passion alive and not letting it die out with the years. I love my man more with every day, even though i've always been crazy about him. But it feels like it gettin stronger by the day. He's the most good-hearted person i have ever met. He's a real gentleman and always been treating me right. And of course that is mutually. Communication and honesty is A and Z. Never put up charades or play games. Even when we first met (scientists have concluded that people play charades for the 3 first months of their relationships but with time their true color come out as you cant hide it forever. People always trying to act like they are better than they are. Keeping secrets). Everyone has shit under their nails. Just be honest to eachother.

Good luck

[CE-AB]

Listen to the man, he speaks the truth!

CHHUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHH ! ! ! !

::banana_dance2::




co-sign

stop being a pussy and get ur playa membership back, niggas who out nice always be the ones to get shitted on, smac her up and i bet she come back to you

[Wil Munny]

LOL at these urbandictionary definitions...They always kill me...

An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf. Cougars are gaining in popularity -- particularly the true hotties -- as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together.

That cougar I met last night, showed me shit I didn't know existed, I'm goin back for more.

---------------------

(see also hunt, prowl, corner, pounce). Noun. A 35+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Francisco (or other cities)waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path. "Man is cougar's number one prey"

Millions of them. More famously, Demi and Ashton, Naomi Watts and Heath Ledger, Joan Collins and her hubby, Cameron and Justin, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins


A cougar to El Count is 20.

[Wil Munny]

Honestly I would listen to any of these dudes about chicks. Listen to women. They can give you better insight. Dudes just blow smoke out their ass and act like they all date hot chicks and fuck all the time. Listen to the women.

[stargurl84]

i don't think shes cheating on you....she's prob telling you the truth. You can't expect things to be like they were when you first met

[MCPIII]

There is a lot of good advice in here my man bigscoff but whatever you do make sure you think about it real hard first. You are that nigga for wifing a woman with two kids that ain't yours at the age of twenty, but make sure you don't become that guy. If you just miss the sex my man and the sex is what you feel is the problem as far as you feeling that she is disrespecting you, then you might not really like this chick and she might have you pussy whipped. You are mad young to be dedicating yourself to someone else's household especially if she got down with a nigga who is in jail now. Maybe she doesn't really like nice guys and she was looking for you for something else etc. Not being in the situation makes it really hard to access but if you follow your heart then you can't go wrong. Lol i know that sounds like some bubble gum stuff but if you two really like each other you could build something really real but if not you could fuck your whole shit up. You are in a very delicate spot, just don't follow your dick or that pussy because its nice and she knows how to put it on you, make sure you follow your heart and really think with head on your shoulders before you make a decision. The vacation thing sounds like the best option, go somewhere where they are a bunch of hoes and do you as far away from home as possible and come back home and see if you miss her or the pussy. Also a break doesn't sound that bad although a break could lead to a break up that can not be put back together. So be careful with this option although it usually deciphors true feeling and will give you both some space to figure out if you and her is what you both want. It takes two and if you are in it for sex or if she is cheating on you, then it won't work out. Best of luck my nigga, and if it doesn't work out, pussy is like water, you can find it everywhere on God's green earth. And if you are looking for a wifey, that material might be a little harder to find but if you want it you got it, just don't settle for w/e reason i.e. lonely, pussy reserve etc.

[DA_LOW]

First off I would like to give you kudos for taking care of another mans responsibility. She must be one fine specimen to do such a thing. Seeing that you live with her and and have built a relationship with her children you can't just abandon ship. At age 20 I'm 100% positive that many of us here would have never moved in with a chick wit two kids. The only thing you can do is try and open the lines of communicaion. You put yourself in this situation now its up to you to fix it. If seperating is the only option you'll still be linked to the kids because your the only father like figure they know of at this point.

[Miss Teri]

Scoff~~ A couple things:
1) she might really be tired...being a Mom is a hell of a lot of work...then she works too..she might not realize how much she is turning you down...she may look at it like she really cares about you and she knows that sex isn't the whole basis of your relationship. Things do change with time...you aren't going through anything new. Most people experience this after having children or being in a relationship for a long time. It is nothing personal against you.
2) You need to sit down and tell her you are unhappy with the sexual part of your relationship..if this is truely that important that you have sex more then you need to tell her this...being unhappy is only going to poison your relationship with her no matter if you stay or go, you will begin to resent her for holding this from you...being open and honest is always a good way to go.
3) I do give you props for being the man in her kids life..I have a friend who is young who has 3 kids and I know it was hard for her to find someone..if you do decide to break things off just be careful next time you get into a relationship with kids, they will still care about you even if you and their mom break up.
Hope this helps a little

[BigScoff]

Scoff~~ A couple things:
1) she might really be tired...being a Mom is a hell of a lot of work...then she works too..she might not realize how much she is turning you down...she may look at it like she really cares about you and she knows that sex isn't the whole basis of your relationship. Things do change with time...you aren't going through anything new. Most people experience this after having children or being in a relationship for a long time. It is nothing personal against you.
2) You need to sit down and tell her you are unhappy with the sexual part of your relationship..if this is truely that important that you have sex more then you need to tell her this...being unhappy is only going to poison your relationship with her no matter if you stay or go, you will begin to resent her for holding this from you...being open and honest is always a good way to go.
3) I do give you props for being the man in her kids life..I have a friend who is young who has 3 kids and I know it was hard for her to find someone..if you do decide to break things off just be careful next time you get into a relationship with kids, they will still care about you even if you and their mom break up.
Hope this helps a little

thanks

[ur_next_ex]

I READ MOST OF THE RESPONSES TO YOUR PROBLEM AND YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN A LOT OF GOOD SOLID ADVICE TO WORK WITH. STOP HOUNDING HER FOR SEX AND ASOCIATING IT WITH HER CHEATING ON YOU. STOP ACCUSING HER OF SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE NO DEFINITIVE PROOF OF, OR YOU ARE SURE TO DRIVE HER AWAY, AND NOT GETTING PUSSY WILL BE THE LEAST OF YOUR PROBLEMS. INSTEAD EXPAND YOUR RELATIONSHIP BY LISTING 10 EVENTS THE BOTH OF YOU CAN PARTICIPATE IN OR GO TO, AND DO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM. LESS EMPHASIS ON SEX AND MORE EMPHASIS ON TOGETHERNESS WILL BRING YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO A NEW LEVEL OF INTIMCY THAT PHYSICAL SEX CAN NEVER GIVE THE BOTH OF YOU.