Antonio Black
10-25-2008, 09:00 AM
Why is that sisters that had no interest in you always want to be the first ones to offer their opinion of disgust when they see you with a female of a different ethnic background? Seriously, it's not as if you wanted to get to know me, and I turned you down in order to get with this other female who happens to not be black. In reality, you didn't give me the time of the day when the opportunity was present, and I rotated towards a female who did show some interest. I'm sure she wouldn't even think twice about it if it was another black female.
A lot of sisters get upset when brothers date outside of their race. They feel that the brothers are "selling out", that this is a slap in the face to black women. First of all, I didn't know we were obligated to date within our races. How come I didn't get the memo? This is my personal take on. I don't see nothing wrong with a brother dating women of other backgrounds as long as he doesn't have to degrade black women to justify his actions of dating outside of the race.
My personal views have come along way due to exposure and experience. When I was around 18-19 years old, I vowed that I would never date outside my race or even have sex with a chick that wasn't black or puerto rican (yeah, I consider puerto ricans one of us). As I approached 23-24 and I was surrounded by women of different ethnic groups, I still kept to vow that I would never date one seriously, but I would definitely give them the business. Now at the age of 28, I consider myself an "Equal Opportunity Employer."
I never understood why black men would even consider dating outside of their race until I turned 27. Women are quick to say brothers that are educated and well-off financially don't even check for sisters. It's not that they don't check for sisters, but that sisters no longer get a priority. I treat all women the same, and I have no guidelines that state my "sisters" must always be the preference. It's all about who you connect with and who treats you better. Who you have more fun with and who you can see yourself with in the long run. It becomes less about race and more about socioeconomic compatibilities.
I want to bring something else to your attention. A majority of working class women don't date successful black men. They date "brothers from their hood" that they just can't seem to leave alone. From conversations that I heard, brothers that are academically and professionally grounded are soft. How many times have you seen the hardworking 9 to 5 female taking care of some dude who deep in her heart knows he won't amount to nothing, yet stays with him because she loves him?
Another factor is that money makes the world go round by any means necessary. So alot of good sisters are attracted to men with money, no matter how they get it. This accounts for the sisters who date drug dealers or men involved in other illegal activities. Don't forget the rappers, athletes and entertainers. I know a couple of you are saying, what's wrong with a rapper, athlete or entertainer? Nothing is wrong with them, those are my brothers and I applaud them. But reality is (which most of you don't know), having money does not put you in the same socioeconomic class as doctors, lawyers, professors, bankers, accountants, etc. Socio is the key word!!!
Socio has always been the key word. Most people want somebody that they can relate to. You think Donald Trump looks at 50 Cent as a peer? Nope, but I bet you he looks at Kenneth Chenault and Oprah as peers.
Dont get me wrong, I am sure there are brothers who refuse to date black women, and that is a sign of self hatred. To say black isn't beautiful is to call yourself ugly. This is unacceptable. But in all honesty, what academically and professionally ambitious black man wouldn't want an academically and professionaly ambitious black women by his side? Most of us do. But most of these sisters (professionals are not to be confused with the 9to5 ers) aren't looking neither. In fact, they settle with lower quality or go outside of the race themselves.
Who am I to judge? Nobody. In fact, I'm not even judging. To each it's own. My whole point is that when a black man decides to go against the "norm" and date outside of his race, who are you to judge? Especially if you didn't want him. I expect the afro-centric, african pride standpoint as a defense, and if I commented on it, it would make space for another blog.
From my personal experiences, even though sisters say brothers take them for granted, alot of yall take good brothers for granted, and then wonder why we flip the script in the future. Like I said earlier, I am am equal opportunity employer. Don't get it twisted, I love my sisters and always will but no longer will I put sisters on a pedestal. You gotta come correct or don't come at all!!!
A lot of sisters get upset when brothers date outside of their race. They feel that the brothers are "selling out", that this is a slap in the face to black women. First of all, I didn't know we were obligated to date within our races. How come I didn't get the memo? This is my personal take on. I don't see nothing wrong with a brother dating women of other backgrounds as long as he doesn't have to degrade black women to justify his actions of dating outside of the race.
My personal views have come along way due to exposure and experience. When I was around 18-19 years old, I vowed that I would never date outside my race or even have sex with a chick that wasn't black or puerto rican (yeah, I consider puerto ricans one of us). As I approached 23-24 and I was surrounded by women of different ethnic groups, I still kept to vow that I would never date one seriously, but I would definitely give them the business. Now at the age of 28, I consider myself an "Equal Opportunity Employer."
I never understood why black men would even consider dating outside of their race until I turned 27. Women are quick to say brothers that are educated and well-off financially don't even check for sisters. It's not that they don't check for sisters, but that sisters no longer get a priority. I treat all women the same, and I have no guidelines that state my "sisters" must always be the preference. It's all about who you connect with and who treats you better. Who you have more fun with and who you can see yourself with in the long run. It becomes less about race and more about socioeconomic compatibilities.
I want to bring something else to your attention. A majority of working class women don't date successful black men. They date "brothers from their hood" that they just can't seem to leave alone. From conversations that I heard, brothers that are academically and professionally grounded are soft. How many times have you seen the hardworking 9 to 5 female taking care of some dude who deep in her heart knows he won't amount to nothing, yet stays with him because she loves him?
Another factor is that money makes the world go round by any means necessary. So alot of good sisters are attracted to men with money, no matter how they get it. This accounts for the sisters who date drug dealers or men involved in other illegal activities. Don't forget the rappers, athletes and entertainers. I know a couple of you are saying, what's wrong with a rapper, athlete or entertainer? Nothing is wrong with them, those are my brothers and I applaud them. But reality is (which most of you don't know), having money does not put you in the same socioeconomic class as doctors, lawyers, professors, bankers, accountants, etc. Socio is the key word!!!
Socio has always been the key word. Most people want somebody that they can relate to. You think Donald Trump looks at 50 Cent as a peer? Nope, but I bet you he looks at Kenneth Chenault and Oprah as peers.
Dont get me wrong, I am sure there are brothers who refuse to date black women, and that is a sign of self hatred. To say black isn't beautiful is to call yourself ugly. This is unacceptable. But in all honesty, what academically and professionally ambitious black man wouldn't want an academically and professionaly ambitious black women by his side? Most of us do. But most of these sisters (professionals are not to be confused with the 9to5 ers) aren't looking neither. In fact, they settle with lower quality or go outside of the race themselves.
Who am I to judge? Nobody. In fact, I'm not even judging. To each it's own. My whole point is that when a black man decides to go against the "norm" and date outside of his race, who are you to judge? Especially if you didn't want him. I expect the afro-centric, african pride standpoint as a defense, and if I commented on it, it would make space for another blog.
From my personal experiences, even though sisters say brothers take them for granted, alot of yall take good brothers for granted, and then wonder why we flip the script in the future. Like I said earlier, I am am equal opportunity employer. Don't get it twisted, I love my sisters and always will but no longer will I put sisters on a pedestal. You gotta come correct or don't come at all!!!